A Struggle..

Each month, I run online challenge groups where I coach women through a 21 day fitness program with home workouts and easy-to-follow nutrition plans. We’re on day 2 of pre-season in my Faith and Fitness group and already such powerful things are happening. This morning, just as we do each month, we asked the women to share their fears going into a challenge like this so that we can encourage each other and conquer them together! One of the women who’s beginning her second round opened up and shared something that stopped me in my tracks. It stopped me because it resonated with me. I had been there and I have battled with the exact struggle she shared.  She said that since she’s started being more health conscious and working out/eating clean, that she’s become “overly critical of her body and hyper aware of her imperfections” She finished by claiming that she refuses to make this an idol in her life and she wants to get to a place where strength is more valued than physique and health more than beauty”.  In my head, I was like “yes, yes YES!! I’m so glad thats not just me. I’m so glad you said that because thats been a struggle of mine recently too.” See here I am a fitness coach, motivating, and encouraging others, yet over and over again, I am coached myself by the other women in the group. I am inspired by their words and their realness. I am pushed and stretched to do things I never normally would.

See, there was a night a few weeks back where I was about to jump in the shower and all of a sudden I found myself bawling to my husband in the living room. I told him that I wasn’t going to workout anymore because there was no point. Crazy, I know. I could go on and on telling you all the amazing results I’ve gotten since I began my journey….the weight loss, the strength in my arms and legs, the new energy, the lowered stress levels etc.,  But that night, I was focused on my flaws…my imperfections. One thing in particular.  I said “look at my tummy, just look at it. I’m supposed to be a fitness coach! I’ve been working so hard for 5 months now and look at me!” He lovingly told me like he always does that I looked amazing and asked me what I was talking about. This frustrated me even more though because how could he not see what I was talking about. He had to be lying to me. Was he blind?

See, after carrying 2 nearly seven pound babes at the same time, my stomach was stretched to the MAX. After giving birth, I have a fairly large ab separation and I guess for bad skin elasticity, I can thank genetics?


Although I’ve been able to tighten up my belly significantly, (you should have seen it before!) that little wrinkly pouch is going no-where anytime soon. I could do 10-min abs every day all day and nothing would help that stretched out skin. In fact, the more weight i’ve lost, the worse the skin issue has gotten. How frustrating is that?!?! So back to the talk with my husband…he told me that night that my focus was in the the wrong place. That I’m taking care of my body and exercising and eating healthy and thats all that matters. He told me I can’t obsess over things that I can’t change. I knew that. I told my challengers this sort of thing all the time. But that night, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Being the professional trainer he is, I wanted him to whip out some secret moves I could do to make the wrinkles go away. I already knew no expensive stretch mark cream was going to do a thing…been there, done that.  But nope. I jumped into the shower, wiping away my tears. He was right and I knew it but we can so easily fall into the trap of getting caught up in our imperfections, our flaws, the things we can’t change and this will really affect us in a negative way. I ended my little pity party in the shower that night because I knew better. But reading that quote by that challenger this morning really  hit home. It’s  not my intention to ever make this new fitness journey an idol in my life but I know that from from time to time I have been guilty of just that. I have to be so so careful not to let it become an unhealthy obsession, focusing on trying to be a certain size, or “fixing” a certain part of my body.

SO here I am sharing my stretched out mum-tum with you because it’s about time things got real around here and maybe, just maybe someone will be able to relate.  I have two beautiful baby boys and I would pick them over smoothed out abs a million times over.

So let me reiterate (mostly for myself) why I’m so committed to bettering my health and fitness. I want to take care of my body. I want to be STRONG and HEALTHY. I want to have the energy to chase my twins around at the park. I want to be around for as long as I possibly can to see my babies grow up and have babies of their own. I want to travel the world with my husband some day. I want to feel young when my age says otherwise. So take THAT stretched out tum.


Thanks for reading!



  1. I have been following your instagram for quite sometime since I was pregnant with my boys or when they were newborn… and I always admired how wonderful you “looked” after carrying twins. My boys are almost 16 months old and I have hated my tummy skin and have always been so self conscious. (I weat high waisted pants or leggings to hide the belly…
    This was such a powerful post. Thank you so much for sharing. Just 6 weeks ago, I started working out under my husband’s coaching (he used to be a fitness instructor). When we work out after our boys sleep, he shows me our boys’ pictures and tell me they are the reasons why I work out. I want to stay healthy and young for them. So I can totally relate. If the belly flap starts to look better becaue of exercising, its a bonus 🙂 🙂

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